


On Reflection

by lasairfhiona



Category: Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-06
Updated: 2011-10-06
Packaged: 2017-10-24 09:06:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/261569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lasairfhiona/pseuds/lasairfhiona
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Chip discovers something about his old friend and realizes it was right in front of him the whole time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	On Reflection

Lt. Commander Chip Morton carried his laughing bride over the threshold of Admiral Nelson's cottage. He was still surprised the Admiral had given him and Cathy use of his hide-a-way as a wedding present, in-sisting, he could stay at a hotel or the BOQ the last few nights they were in port at Pearl Harbor.

"Chip, put me down," Cathy said as they passed through the double doors into the foyer.

"Anything you say, Cathy, my dear," he said, releasing his hold on her, letting her feet slide to the ground. He held her close and kissed her long and hard before pulling away. "I'm going to go get our bags. Admiral Nelson said to make ourselves at home, so have a look around."

"It's beautiful," Cathy commented as she looked around the open interior. She started to walk around, her heels clicking on the hardwood floors. Walking up the few steps to the kitchen, she ran her hand along the cobalt blue tiled counter as she skirted the center island and stove. Before going down another couple of stairs, she peeked into the bedroom through the rice paper-lined soji doors. Down the three stairs to the main level again, she skirted the four-person dining table and walked along the windows, stopping briefly to look through the French doors to the beach beyond the large stone patio. Finishing her circuit around the cottage, she ran her hand along the almost silky-feeling Koa bookcases lined with books and mementos of Admiral Nelson's long naval career. She'd been to the large penthouse apartment the Admiral shared with Lee Crane, a convenience for both men, and knew the Admiral had most of his keepsakes there or in his office at NIMR. It seemed to her that what was kept here was from a certain period of time, judging by the Admiral's appearance in several of the photos. Picking one up, she looked closely at it. "Chip," she called. "isn't this Lee with the Admiral?"

Chip came through the double doors with their bags in time to hear his wife's question. Dropping the bags in the entranceway, he joined Cathy in front of the bookcase. Looking at the picture she held, he answered, "That's from when they served together on Nautilus. I've seen one like it in Lee's office."

"I didn't realize they knew each other before Lee joined Seaview," Cathy commented.

"Oh yeah. Admiral Nelson was Lee's CO back then. They might have originally met when we were at An-napolis, but I don't remember for sure," Chip explained. Walking back to retrieve their bags, he told her, "I'll take our bags to the bedroom. Why don't you see what kind of goodies the Admiral left for us, and we can have drinks and a snack outside."

"Didn't Lee say he was staying with the Admiral?" Cathy commented from the kitchen.

"I think so," Chip answered as he set their cases down in front of the Koa cupboards.

He didn't hear her when she asked. "I wonder where he slept?"

Chip took a moment to look around the room before going back to join Cathy. A large bed with a Koa head and footboard dominated the room, with matching bedside tables. Large worn leather chairs and footstools sat to either side of a window, with a table and lamp between. A framed picture on the table caught his at-tention. Skirting around the table, Chip went over to pick up the frame. He'd seen his fair share of pictures of Lee and the Admiral, but this one was different. It was a simple picture, but it spoke of an intimacy be-tween the two men he never knew existed. Lee was sitting back against a tree with a white shirt unbuttoned at the throat, setting off his dark features, with the Admiral dressed in a navy blue V-neck sweater, leaning back into Lee's embrace. He knew by the lack of lines on the Admiral's face that the picture wasn't recent.

"They're lovers, aren't they?" Cathy asked, coming to stand behind him and startling him.

"I don't know," Chip answered, setting the picture back down and walking out to the back patio, completely by-passing his bride. He'd never thought about it, but Cathy's summation made sense. The evidence was there for him to see if he'd made the time to look past the explanations. Things like the immediate friend-ship between Lee and the Admiral when Lee first came to NIMR being explained as a carry-over from when they served on Nautilus together. Lee moving into the penthouse with the Admiral, first as a guest, and then staying because it was more convenient. Individual leave time that always overlapped at least a few days, and long leaves being taken in Hawaii unless they were somewhere abroad on a port call. Not to mention all the failed attempts to get Lee to double-date with him and Cathy.

"I think they are," Chip finally said as Cathy set a drink down in front of him. Taking a sip of the amber liq-uid, he waited for the warm burn of the scotch to reach his belly before he continued, "I've thought about it, and it all makes sense."

"Does it bother you?" Cathy asked, reaching across the slate tabletop and grasping his hand.

Did it bother him that his best friend and his boss were lovers? "No," he answered honestly. It was 1975, and he liked to think he was a liberal-minded man. "I'm happy Lee found someone to love who loves him back."

"But?" Cathy asked, having a feeling there was more to what her husband was thinking.

"But I wish he'd told me," Chip answered, taking another sip of the scotch. He didn't want to admit to him-self, let alone his wife, how much it hurt that Lee hadn't trusted him enough to tell him he was gay, let alone the fact he was, and had been for a long time, intimately involved with the Admiral. He and Lee had been good friends since their days as roommates at Annapolis. They had always shared everything, and had spent nights talking until the wee hours about their hopes and dreams. If he thought about it, though, he had been the only one to share any thoughts about a spouse.

Chip had found his perfect mate when he'd met Cathy, and the first person he'd told about her was Lee. His friend had listened to him agonize over getting serious with her, and what kind of husband he could be being the XO of Seaview. Lee and the Admiral were the first people he'd gone to when Cathy had said "yes", and they had been there when they exchanged their vows this morning at the tiny Sub-base chapel. Did they think he couldn't be trusted with their secret?

"Chip, I know what you are doing. You're second guessing everything," Cathy stated, knowing him well. "Don't. You and Lee have been friends for a long time. Why don't you just go and talk to him when we get back?" she suggested, hoping to ease his mind some. "I'm sure there is some logical explanation."

Enveloping her hand between his, Chip gave it a squeeze. "I love you," he told her. She was his voice of reason in a moment when he was ready to doubt the friendship he shared with Lee.

 **10 days later -- NIMR Santa Barbara -- Lee's office**

"Chip called last night," Lee commented as the Admiral perched on the corner of his desk.

"They aren't due back yet, are they?" Harry asked, picking up the miniature sword letter opener that sat on Lee's desk.

"No. He said they came back early so they could get settled into the house before he comes back to work," Lee answered, sitting back in his chair and watching as Harry had a sword fight with an imaginary opponent. "He wants to get together for lunch today and talk. He was quite insistent, in fact."

"So I guess a long lunch at home is out?" Harry asked, setting the letter opener down and leering at Lee.

"God, Harry," Lee sighed, running his hand along Harry's thigh before sitting back in his chair. They didn't have time and, if he teased Harry any more, they would be interrupted in an awkward position. "Rain check?" he asked. "Chip sounded almost angry with me when we talked. I..."

"What do you think he wants to talk about?" Harry asked, concerned about his executive officer.

Lee looked up at Harry, then back down at his hands. "I think he wants to talk about you and me."

"He knows about us, so why would he want to talk about you and me?" Harry asked, leaning forward to rest his hand on Lee's slumped shoulder.

"He doesn't know, or rather, he didn't before he went out to the beach house. I never told him," Lee admit-ted as he stood and turned to look out the window, his back to Harry.

"Oh Lee. I thought you told him when you came on board Seaview. That must have been a hell of a sur-prise for him," Harry said as he slid off the desk and went to stand behind Lee. Wrapping his arms around his lover's waist, he leaned his head between Lee's shoulder blades.

"How could I tell him that you and I had been lovers for thirteen years and I'd never told him? I could have gotten away with it if I never saw him after Annapolis, but considering we saw each other many times over the years and I had plenty of opportunities to tell him..." Lee said as he wrapped his arms with Harry's.

"He must think we don't trust him, and that's definitely not the case. You're going to have to set him straight on that," Harry advised. "He's too good of a friend..."

Turning in Harry's embrace, Lee rested his face against the side of Harry's, enjoying the comforting em-brace before having to talk to his angry friend. "I know," he acknowledged before pulling back far enough so he could kiss Harry.

A knock on the door broke their peaceful moment. "Time to face the fire," Lee said.

Harry gave him one more kiss before pulling back and running his hand through his hair. "Remember, you have a lot of years of friendship between you so tell him whatever he needs to know to make it right."

"I will," Lee answered, then called "Come in," when Harry was a discreet distance away.

"Lee," Chip said as he entered the office. "Oh sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt," he added when he saw the Admiral.

"You didn't," Harry clarified. "Welcome back. I understand you cut your honeymoon short - Don't plan on coming back to work until your leave is up. I don't want that bride of yours coming after me for being a taskmaster," Harry teased, clasping Chip on the shoulder as he went past. Stopping just before he walked out the door, Harry turned. "I'll see you at home tonight, Lee. Remember what I said."

"Yes, sir," Lee said, laughing, hiding his surprise at Harry's comment. The older man never called their shared penthouse home in front of anyone.

Harry waved at Lee, also laughing, then said. "Have a good lunch," to both of them before closing the door behind him.

"Chip," Lee said when they were alone, unsure where to begin.

"Lee," Chip answered, his voice showing the same insecurity.

"Have a seat," Lee said, pointing to one of the two leather wingback chairs in front of his desk and taking the other one for himself. Looking at Chip, he sat on the edge of his chair, as opposed to Chip who leaned back and got comfortable.

"I should have thanked you both for letting us use your vacation house while the Admiral was still here," he said sarcastically, his face an open book to what he was feeling.

"I'm glad you enjoyed it. We thought you and Cathy deserved something better than a hotel room for your honeymoon," Lee said, not bothering to cover his and Harry's relationship.

"Why?" Chip asked when Lee didn't try to hide his relationship with the Admiral. In fact, not even the Ad-miral had tried to hide it.

"Why what, Chip?" Lee returned. "Why did we loan you our beach house? Why didn't we tell you? What do you want to know?" he asked, opening the door for Chip to ask anything, and knowing they probably wouldn't make it out for lunch. This wasn't a conversation to have in a public place.

"How long?" Chip asked first.

"How long have Harry and I been together?" Lee asked for confirmation then answered when he saw Chip's nod. "Fifteen years."

"Wow," Chip said whistling, then doing the math he asked, "Wasn't he your commanding officer back then?"

"No," Lee said. "He'd been off Nautilus maybe six months, and I'd just rotated off," he explained.

"How did you get together?"

Lee finally leaned back in his chair and semi-relaxed. "I guess you could say it started on the Nautilus. We knew the attraction was there, and toward the end of his tour the sexual tension was so thick that had either one of us been less than honorable or allowed ourselves to be alone long enough we might have given in, but we never did. Nor did we ever mention it to one another. We didn't have to."

Running his hands through his normally impeccably-combed hair, reminiscent of Harry, Lee continued. "I was assigned to CINCPACFLT at Pearl Harbor about six months after Harry rotated off Nautilus. I'd prob-ably been in Hawaii a month or so when, one Friday, I went for drinks at the Subbase O club. The group of us, being submariners, liked to go there rather than the one at Makalapa. It was all I could do not to give myself away when I walked in and saw Harry, a newly-promoted two star admiral, sitting there with SUB-PAC.

"Harry called me over and introduced me to SUBPAC. He did all the things one would normally do when you're commanding officer and you've just run into a junior officer you favored. Then he 'let' me get back to my friends.

"I'd had a couple of drinks when he came over to say 'Good night' and handed me this folded piece of pa-per, saying that if I ever needed to get in touch with him, here was how to reach him. I can remember see-ing his smile when I looked up at him and knew it was more than a phone number and address. It was all I could do to play it cool when he reached out and squeezed my shoulder as he left. I was like a kid and wanted to open the note right then and there, but as it was the other guys gave me a hard time for having an Admiral on my side. So I stashed it in my pocket until I could get away and read it.

"Heh, heh, heh," Chip laughed. "I bet they harassed you. I remember the harassment I got as Admiral Nel-son's pet student at Annapolis. Including a fair share from you," Chip added.

"Yeah, well..." Lee agreed sheepishly.

"Did you meet the Admiral then?" Chip asked, trying to remember if Lee'd had any classes with him.

Lee shook his head. "I just heard about him from you."

"Go on," Chip urged him to continue.

"Once they decided they had harassed me enough and things had died down, I excused myself to go to the head so I could finally read the note. I don't think I will ever forget what it said," Lee closed his eyes, as if to see the hand-written note in his mind.

 

 _Don't drink any more, Laddie, I want you sober.  
Lose the uniform and meet me under the Banyan tree at the  
Terrace Bar -- Ala Moana Hotel on Waikiki 2200_

 _Pack a bag for the weekend -- if you want._

 

"Wow," Chip said under his breath when Lee finished recounting the contents of the note.

Lee didn't acknowledge his friend's reaction, he just continued tell his story. "He signed it Harry - not Ad-miral Nelson, just Harry. I was in shock. I couldn't believe his boldness. The risk he'd taken writing some-thing that could be used against him if it fell into the wrong hands. The innuendo was so thinly veiled that anyone else reading it would have known what he meant." Lee paused. "I wanted it, Chip. I can't tell you how many times I fantasized about getting a note like that. I wanted him, and it looked like I was finally going to have my chance."

"What did you do?"

"I made my excuses to my friends and hightailed it back to my room at the BOQ, where I changed clothes and packed a small weekend bag and headed into Waikiki. I can remember being so damn nervous walk-ing through the lobby toward the outdoor bar. I questioned what I was doing with every step I took that I almost turned around and walked out. Then there I was on the terrace, and there was Harry sitting at a table, smoking a cigarette, with a glass of scotch in front of him.

Chip laughed at the image. It was one he'd seen many times during the years he'd worked with the Admir-al. "I can see that perfectly. I'm actually surprised you haven't gotten him to quit smoking yet."

"No, not yet. But he doesn't smoke nearly as much as he used to," Lee answered. "You should have seen the ashtray in front of him. He must have smoked a pack and then some while he waited for me to arrive," he paused to remember how Harry looked sitting there waiting for him...

 _...Lee walked across the terrace and down the few steps to the lower level, where Admiral Nelson's table sat under the Banyan tree. He watched as the Admiral crushed out a cigarette in the already-full ashtray._

 _"Admiral," Lee said when he reached the table._

 _"Lee. I'm glad you came. Have a seat," Harry said, pointing to the empty chair across the two-person table._

 _Lee took the seat and folded his hands, resting them on the glass-topped table, unsure of what to do or say next. "Admiral, I'm..." Lee finally started to say._

 _Harry held up his hand. "Lee, wait. This is awkward for both of us."_

 _"Yes, sir," Lee agreed._

 _"Can I ask you a few questions? I'll make it easier for us both of us." Harry watched as Lee nodded. "Did I imagine what was left unsaid between us on Nautilus?"_

 _"No, sir," Lee answered immediately. "It was there."_

 _Harry nodded and smiled a bit more easily. "You want this?" he asked quietly._

 _"Yes, sir," Lee again said immediately. "I packed a bag, sir."_

 _"You know I'm fourteen years older than you?"_

 _"Doesn't matter, sir."_

 _Harry smiled again. "You might want to stop calling me sir and try calling me Harry," he suggested, teasing Lee to try and ease what remained of the awkwardness._

 _"Never in public, sir. It wouldn't be right," Lee corrected him._

 _Discreetly, Harry pushed a key toward Lee and said, "Get your bag and meet me at the Royal Hawaiian, room 112."_

 _Lee palmed the key and waited until after the Admiral had gone, taking time to listen to the young Hawaiian duo playing and singing songs about Hawaiian pride before heading to where he parked his car near the zoo to get his bag..._

..."So that was how you got together?" Chip asked.

Lee nodded, leaning forward. "Pretty much. He was waiting for me when I finally made it to the Royal Ha-waiian. We spent the night talking and figuring out how we could have a relationship and not lose our ca-reers. By the time the weekend was over I was well on my way to being in love with him."

"Wow," Chip uttered again. "That is an amazing story. You've been together ever since?" he asked and, when Lee answered "yes" he asked another question, "How were you able to be together?"

Lee stood up and walked around his desk to look out the window. "Sometimes, when we were stationed on opposite coasts or when he retired to build NIMR and Seaview, it was very hard. That was one of the reasons we bought the land and had the beach house built. It gave us a place to go, away from prying eyes. Sometimes we were lucky and I was able to have TAD where he was, and it wasn't uncommon for us to 'run into each other' and for Harry to offer me a place to stay while on TAD. After all, we were on the Nautilus together," Lee said with a hint of amusement.

"And they bought that?" Chip asked in disbelief.

"You did," Lee answered, smiling, as he turned around to look at Chip and leaned his shoulder against the glass.

"I did?"

"Sure you did," Lee replied, smiling. "Remember when I was TAD in Groton and staying with my old CO? You were up in Bath, Maine, and came down to visit," he reminded his friend.

"Oh, my god. I remember that visit. That was the Admiral you were staying with?" Chip asked, and when Lee nodded he added, "I never guessed."

"No one ever did, Chip. We are careful, and no one ever looked beyond our explanations," Lee said.

"Then why did you give Cathy and me use of the beach house?" Chip asked, then paused a minute. "You've never done that before, have you?" he asked, suddenly realizing the enormity of the gift he and Cathy had been given. The biggest stumbling block he hadn't been able to resolve in his mind had been that they didn't tell him because they didn't trust him, when all along the very act of giving him use of their private haven was the biggest act of trust they could have given him. He suddenly felt very foolish for his assumptions.

"No. You and Cathy were the first, and will probably be the only other people we invite there. It's the one place Harry and I can go and leave everything else behind," Lee explained.

"Why did the Admiral offer it to Cathy and me then?"

"He thought you already knew about us, and it was something special he - we - could do for the two of you on such short notice," Lee answered.

"But I didn't know. And I gotta tell you, Lee, it was one hell of a surprise when I did figure it out," Chip said matter-of-factly.

"I'm sorry," Lee apologized.

Chip nodded at the apology. "Why didn't you tell me?" he finally asked, getting to the heart of what had brought him to Lee's office while he was still on his honeymoon. The trust issue had been answered, but now he wanted to know why his best friend hadn't told him about the single most significant event in his life.

"Honestly, I don't know," Lee admitted. "At first, I didn't know how to say 'I'm gay' to you. Remember, in all our talks about the future, I never said much except that I wanted to find someone to love and who loved me just as much. It was too dangerous to the career I wanted to admit I was gay. Then, after Harry and I decided we were 'it' for each other, I didn't know how to tell you not only was I gay but that I was in love with the man you idolized all the way through Annapolis. How could I potentially shatter the image you had of Harry, let alone possibly lose my best friend?" Lee admitted, coming back to sit down opposite Chip.

"And you couldn't tell me after you came aboard Seaview?"

"I didn't know how to. Harry and I had been together for thirteen years already, and that was one hell of a thing to drop on you. The first thing you'd have thought was that we didn't trust you, and that couldn't be further from the truth," Lee said as he leaned forward and dropped his head into his hands.

Chip sighed. He knew this interrogation wasn't easy on his friend, but Lee had answered all of his questions and faced him head on in true Lee Crane fashion. "I understand, Lee, I really do. But it hurt when I realised you were keeping something this important from me, and you have to understand that."

"I'm..." Lee started to say, looking up as his long-time friend, hoping that this wouldn't be the end of their friendship.

Chip held up a hand, stopping Lee from continuing. He knew what he was going to say. "Lee, there is nothing for you to do. I just needed to talk to you. To understand and know why you never said anything."

"Are we okay?" Lee asked, hopeful but unsure.

Chip laughed. "Yeah, buddy, we're okay."

"Good," Lee breathed a sigh of relief, relaxing for the first time since he'd received Chip's phone call that morning. "Why don't you and Cathy join Harry and me for dinner tonight? Harry grills a mean steak, and we can celebrate your wedding."

"Yeah," Chip said smiling. "That would be nice. I'll go home and get Cathy. What time should we be back?" Chip asked, standing.

Lee stood as well and walked Chip to the door. "How does 1900 sound?" he asked before Chip walked out.

"Sounds great," Chip said, starting down the hall, leaving Lee standing in the door to his office.

Lee watched his friend go, a thousand thoughts running through his head. "Thanks," he called, before Chip got on the elevator. His friend's smile and wave were his only answer.

xxxxx

Chip walked into his new house and stood in the doorway to their bedroom, watching as Cathy made their brand new bed. "Cath," he called, interrupting her before she could pull the comforter up and place the pil-lows.

Holding a pillow against her chest, Cathy stopped and looked at Chip as he walked toward her. "How was your talk with Lee?"

Tugging the pillow from her grasp, he pulled her close. "Good. You were right," he said before kissing her. "Talking to him helped, and it had nothing to do with the fact he didn't trust me. Just like you said."

"Tell me about it," she said, guiding him to the bed and pulling back the sheets.

He lay in her arms and told her about his conversation with his best friend, and wondered if Lee was doing the same thing...


End file.
